I joined the UN not mainly due to career privileges but based on a deep conviction that the UN agencies are leading the development effort in the world and in the country, with clear adherence to UN principles especially human rights. I have also had the aspiration of building a prosperous career within the UN and contributing to the efforts of development and environmental protection.

Although my belief in the UN principles and the declaration on human rights has not been degraded, the exact nature of my job has left me confused from day one. Instead of using my accumulated experience and knowledge in supporting development and hands-on initiatives at the grassroots level, I found myself struggling with a countless number of procedural guidelines, bureaucratic reporting and oversight of projects implemented by the government with its own bureaucracy. Instead of working in the field with people I found myself stranded in the office working on the laptop for 8 hours each day and more at home. Instead of writing intelligent reporting on development trends, policies and measures I found myself reporting budget lines and expenditures.

It was certain for me that this is not the path of career I sought. I tried to maximize the opportunities and minimize the barriers, but was not helped with a very hostile inter-personal relationship at work. I have been in various places, and seen cut throat competition but not to the level I saw in the UN. The playing field was not equal. Staff with experience in procedures and guidelines is always controlling the stage while newcomers struggle with deciphering the procedures. I realized that it is not worth the time or the effort that I have to put in mastering the boring procedures and reporting requirements and I was just starting my countdown for leave.

During my stay at the UN I have sacrificed my daily column and all my media and networking activities as UN employees should not write articles or engage in any other work. I badly missed writing and tried to convince management to write but was not supported.

In a few weeks I developed a stage in which I just lost passion for work. I would  wake up in the morning, spend more than 30 minutes thinking about the value of me going to this work and about the bad day I am about to face with all boring procedures and hostility at the working environment. I reached the conclusion that I should either accept the situation, work to get my salary and pension and forget about anything creative or just run away before it is too late.

I was inspired by Paolo Coelho. I participated in a workshop in Beirut and had some free time to think and reflect. I was accompanied with Paolo Coelho's book "confessions of a pilgrim" which is an interview with a Spanish journalist that constitutes an interesting autobiography of the Brazilian writer. Coelho said that his "profession" is writing and I have came to realize that for me, wherever I am I just cannot stop writing and will not survive any job that prevents me from writing or is devoid of passion. Passion is the feeling that makes you walk the extra mile in doing what you like beyond being traditional to being creative. In my job I was about to become immersed with procedures and reporting and I just had to walk out. I submitted my CV to a couple of new positions.

Only 40 minutes after the birth of my twin Zaid and Yara on January 15^th I got a phone call that requested me to show up for an interview and that was great omen. I got the position of Project Manager for the restoration of the Zarqa River Basin which is a very exciting and challenging task that requires direct field work and rapid impacts. The project is implemented by the Ministry of Environment (where I will be located) and supported by the Spanish Agency for International Cooperation (a progressive and justice sensitive European government!).

In this change I had managed to regain my passion for work and was liberated from bureaucracy and organizational barriers to be able to write which is exactly what I will do in this blog and my other environmental blog www.arabenvironment.net

My experience with the UN has again taught me two important lessons related to career management:

1-     If you can afford the choice, always try to have a job that you are passionate about as a priority, before assessing salary and privileges.

2-     Do not take interpersonal respect for granted. In some places it is completely missing and being nice to people does not cost a penny yet it is a great indicator of maturity.